Je me suis retrouvé à monter des scénarios et me revoilà replongé dans des envies d'en finir. Je dois admettre que ces envies ne sont pas assez fortes mais elles sont là quand même.
Je ne sais pas ce que je vais faire maintenant. J'avais prévu d'aller faire un peu de sport mais je constate que ma volonté a vite donné place au désarrois et l'anxiété.
Je dois résister et essayer de me changer les idées, sinon, je crains que ça ne se concrétise. En même temps, il y a des moments ou je me dis, laisse ces idées t'envahir... c'est la solution qui approche et enfin tu seras libéré de tout cela. C'est une façon de voir les choses me dira-t-on mais "la solution" en est une effectivement...
Ce que j'ai écrit est complètement décousu. Certes. Je ne suis pas bien en ce moment même et j'utilise ce blog pour évacuer le stress... ça ne marche pas à tous les coups.
mercredi 30 janvier 2013
Le Québec n'affiche plus le pire taux de suicide au pays
http://www.lapresse.ca/actualites/quebec-canada/sante/201301/30/01-4616552-le-quebec-naffiche-plus-le-pire-taux-de-suicide-au-pays.php
Je suis d'accord sur le fait que les moyens mis en place actuellement ne sont pas suffisants...
Je suis d'accord sur le fait que les moyens mis en place actuellement ne sont pas suffisants...
What you should not do with a suicider...
Being someone who attempted to suicide and still has suicide ideas, I can give some advices to those who have a relative or a friend who's thinking of suicide.
First thing; never. I say NEVER, laugh at someone who evokes suicide as a solution. This can easily be the trigger to commit it. Even if this person was not really aiming to suicide, he/she will do it because he feels that he's ridiculous. There is nothing funny in evoking your own death as a solution for a problem.
Always consider seriously the person who's talking about suicide. Help her. Talk to her but never judge her. By judging, do not tell the person "How can you feel this way. It does not make sense"... well, if you are up to the point where you want to die, chances are that your emotions are not under control. You're no longer 'logical' or 'rational'. It is useless to try to make he/her rational. Just try to listen with no comments if possible. Personally, I really hate when someone tells me 'I know how you feel'. This is so untrue simply because if you really do, we'll be on the same side... So, please, forget about 'common' replies that 'make sense'. Just listen....
Never be upset because he/she is depressed. Depression is not something I wanted. It is here. It is a desease and not a hobby. I mean, if someone got a cancer or a flu, no one (sane person) will tell him that this is his fault (unless you have been smoking for 20 years and you have a lung cancer...)... in general, we are a victim of a desease not the cause. Depression is a desease like any other desease and a depressed person is a victim of it and not its cause. So why should I excuse myself of being depressed? I know that for my entourage, it is not easy to cope with it, though, if my entourage loves me enough, they will stand by me and try to help me instead.
I will think of other aspects and write new posts today...
Cheers,
First thing; never. I say NEVER, laugh at someone who evokes suicide as a solution. This can easily be the trigger to commit it. Even if this person was not really aiming to suicide, he/she will do it because he feels that he's ridiculous. There is nothing funny in evoking your own death as a solution for a problem.
Always consider seriously the person who's talking about suicide. Help her. Talk to her but never judge her. By judging, do not tell the person "How can you feel this way. It does not make sense"... well, if you are up to the point where you want to die, chances are that your emotions are not under control. You're no longer 'logical' or 'rational'. It is useless to try to make he/her rational. Just try to listen with no comments if possible. Personally, I really hate when someone tells me 'I know how you feel'. This is so untrue simply because if you really do, we'll be on the same side... So, please, forget about 'common' replies that 'make sense'. Just listen....
Never be upset because he/she is depressed. Depression is not something I wanted. It is here. It is a desease and not a hobby. I mean, if someone got a cancer or a flu, no one (sane person) will tell him that this is his fault (unless you have been smoking for 20 years and you have a lung cancer...)... in general, we are a victim of a desease not the cause. Depression is a desease like any other desease and a depressed person is a victim of it and not its cause. So why should I excuse myself of being depressed? I know that for my entourage, it is not easy to cope with it, though, if my entourage loves me enough, they will stand by me and try to help me instead.
I will think of other aspects and write new posts today...
Cheers,
New day, new mood...
Well... today I am doing better. Usually, in the morning it is always better. The evening is my enemy. So let's see how it goes for today....
mardi 29 janvier 2013
Suicide plan aborted...
This time, I am posting in english for a broader audience.
To summarize: I made an attempt to suicide weeks ago. I thought that I reached the bottom but it seems that it is not really the case. I still want to do it again from time to time. I cannot tell the exact reasons; but sometimes I think that the aim is to punish some people, sometimes the reason is to make some people realize that I am really in need of their help... I don't know what's going on in my head. My last attempt failed because I had a rope around my neck and just did not have the courage to step down the chair I was standing on. I started to cry cause I wished I had the courage to do it and end the pain I feel.
Today, I planned it again but now, I am not feeling down enough to do it. I just came back from a 2 hours training which probably helped me empty my mind from suicide thoughts. Sport is a good therapy in fact.
Now I am going to sleep and hope that tomorrow will be a better day. My plan is still here and I can execute it at any time.
To summarize: I made an attempt to suicide weeks ago. I thought that I reached the bottom but it seems that it is not really the case. I still want to do it again from time to time. I cannot tell the exact reasons; but sometimes I think that the aim is to punish some people, sometimes the reason is to make some people realize that I am really in need of their help... I don't know what's going on in my head. My last attempt failed because I had a rope around my neck and just did not have the courage to step down the chair I was standing on. I started to cry cause I wished I had the courage to do it and end the pain I feel.
Today, I planned it again but now, I am not feeling down enough to do it. I just came back from a 2 hours training which probably helped me empty my mind from suicide thoughts. Sport is a good therapy in fact.
Now I am going to sleep and hope that tomorrow will be a better day. My plan is still here and I can execute it at any time.
Ce soir je pensais finalement aller jusqu'au bout... projet annulé
J'avais tout préparé pour que ce soir je passe à l'acte. Je suis allé faire du sport et à mon retour l'envie et la force pour m'enlever la vie est passée. Tant mieux peut être. On verra demain.
Suis-je seul...
Si tu lis ce blog et que tu partage les sentiments et les émotions que je vis actuellement, s'il te plait, laisse un message... Le but de ce blog est de trouver du monde qui comprends ce qu'un suicidaire vit et pense.
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